THE LIFE OF A DBM

On Saturday I went to my 20th class reunion. Now keep in mind this was the second class reunion I attended in as many days (previous post). My Twin reunion was $65, open bar and a sit down dinner ( I did not pay or eat but I did drink). Now my reunion was $85 , cash bar and appetizer. To but it best, I felt like I got fucked with no vasaline. I did see a few people whom I was cool with back in the day. One of my former classmate was the producer of "Spin City" (in fact the black guy character is loosely based on him) and now is the producer of "Scrubs". I did have an okay time except for the $85 cover charge.

The Tingle
How important is "The Tingle"? You know "The Tingle" that feeling you get when you meet someone who makes you feel like you just hit the number. That person who you treat differently than anyone else you are seeing at the time. I have had "The Tingle" three times in my life. I have been hurt by her every time. You know heart break hurt. The kind of hurt were you want to scream why is life unfair and when am I going to get the Ace on the River. I not trying to get all sappy on everyone. I just wanted to vent for a second.

I went to my brother 20th class reunion. Now I went to the same high school he graduated from for only one year (10th) but there are people who believe I graduated from this high school along with him. I was not going to attend but I got a phone call demanding that I come and say "hi". My only statement is that I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have sleep or tried to sleep with a few teenage that I felt were not "fine" enough back then. It was funny because I did have a reputation of being a player back then and it came up tonight. One of the female at the reunion asked me who I was pimpin. This was after it got out that I sleep with one of there classmate's wife a couple of years ago. (He was not there and I found out that they are now divorced, at he works at JCPenny) The funny part was that the girl who asked me the pimpin question, husband was there but she was all in my grill and God knows that I would be in hers tonight if he was not there. It also was the usually women who were fine then and are fine now. It was also sad to her about the people who had died or who are in prison. Now my class reunion is tommorow and I hope that I have as much fun as I had tonight.

My Thanksgiving day.
It was the bomb. My brother came in town and we surprised our parents. The food was off the hook and I ate like a pig. I then went and ate at The Suz's sister house and she had enough food to feed a small nation. However, I ended up getting sick. Not because I ate too much but something triggered one of my food allergies. I also got to see My hometown team lose (The Detroit Lions) but it was all good.

When does the woman you marry become her mother ? One of my boy called me the other day, crying about how he is going to leave his wife. I know it is not proper to get in grown folks business but I had to know why. Was she having an affair ? Did she pull a Maury Povish and tell you that one of the kids may not be yours. What was it. After pulling out his teeth to get him to talk. He goes "she has turned into her mother". I asked what does that mean. He goes on to say she is dressing like her mother, looking more like her mother (gray hair, clothes she wear, gray coochie, etc) everyday. He say that he can't sleep with her anymore because he is not turned on. Everytime he looks at her he see his mother in law. What about when she has no clothes on. He explains thats worse, because all he can think about is that he is about to do it to his Mother in Law. All I could do is laugh and ask what did he expect. He said he expected his wife to look like the woman he married not his wife's mother. I tell him don't leave because as he get older I'm sure he will look more like his father.

To all of those who read my blog or for those who just happen to stop by Happy Thanksgiving

I know I have very poor in posting but this new job have me taking quizzes and test everyday. I have not done this much studying since undergrad.
I got and email yesterday inviting me to speed date. I have seen this type of dating on t.v. and in the movie Hitch. I have not made up my mind if I want to participate in this type of activity. I know I need to jump start my dating because of being out of the loop for so long due to my unemployment.
This got me to remembering a date from hell that I had a few years ago. I met this person at a club I used to frequent back in the day. We meet, talk, and set up a date. Let me first tell you that this person was a teacher. Well if I had children and she was their teacher I would demand a new teacher. This woman did not even know who was the President of the United States. She was dumb as a box of rocks. I was trying to hold a conversation with her and it was like talking to a three year old child. What also made the date very bad was that she could not pronounce basic words you read in a menu. I was embarrassed for her. Let just say I could not wait for the date to end and when it ended she called me back saying she had a great time.
I will leave everyone with this statement. If I meet one more person who says that a good man is one who goes to church every Sunday. I'm going to scream.

a good post
I need to post what happen to me tonight. First and foremost I don't believe in co-ed baby showers. I need to ask all my fellow bloggers if I was wrong. I met this attractive lady and we started to talk and her how basis of the conversation was that a man must know the lord if he was to talk to her. My point was that if a man if fatithful to her it did not matter if he went to church twice a week. Because I have known many a person who claim they were with the lord but were low down dirty dogs. Now the only reason I was at this shower was because the Suz ask me to go because Crystal has no friends. Now as I was about to leave I asked Crystal where was The Suz. Crystal said that I could not see her. Well I demand to see her and Crystal said I don't care what kind of demented relationship you have I won't let you see her. Well I found her and the Suz said to call her later. It was then that as I left Crystal house she began to cuss me out. Saying that I ain't shit and don't come back to her house. Well she won't have to worry I will never say dog, cat, etc to her again

P.S. I first need to address something I'm not having a baby and the person having the baby is crazy. When most of the people at the shower were her husband friends because she does not have any friends but The Suz, this is the answer to all of your questions.

Sorry I have not posted in a minute but my new job is keeping me busy so I will have to catch everyone up when I get a moment.

7 things I plan to do before I die...
Sleep with a famous person - 7 women on my list will be at the bottom.
Travel to Europe - Never wanted to go to Africa but always wanted to see this part of the world.
Get a Masters or Law Degree - I have to become more marketable.
Hit the lottery - not the 3 or 4 digit but the really BIG one.
Have a family - Wife, Kids, bigger house the whole nine.
See my first love - Don't know why but I have to do it.
Break 80 in golf - I have never been close but I will keep trying

7 things I can do...
Cook - Yes ladies I can throw down.
Fix stuff -I a regular Tim Allen.
Quote line from Sanford and Son - me and the other twin do it all the time.
Eat out - not like at a restaurant but like R. Kelly in his porn video ( the first lady not the little girl).
Tune people out - If I feel you are not worth my time, I will dismiss you like Kwame.
Read a book in one sitting - I have finished many a books in a day.
Get bored very easy - I have the attention span of a nat, my mind must be stimulated for me to have any interest.

7 things I can't do...
Speak a foreign language - Didn't learn in school, so now I have very little interest.
Date a smoker - I hate smoke and don't like kissing ash trays.
Own a gun - I hate guns because it makes cowards a so called hero.
Whistle - Never learn how to do this skills.
Sleep with a skinny girl - Nicole Richie you hear me, I like a little meat on my bones.
Understand Racism - What a waste of energy to dislike someone because of their culture.
Eat peas - By far one of the most disgusting thing on the planet.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex...
Eyes - They are the window to the soul.
Feet - If you have pretty feet, I will give you all of my little pay check.
Intelligent - You must be able to hold a decent conversation with all types of people on all types of subjects.
Skin tone - I have been called "color struck".
Having her own stuff - Don't say you want a man with money when you are poor.
Lips - I like them soft (you can get carmax anywhere)
Everything - I know this is a cop out but I love women.


7 things i say most often...
"Get you Coat" - It means when a game is over.
"I don't have a line but can I take you out to dinner" - my pick up line, if you want to call it that.
"Man what Rump Roast" - Fred Sanford
"You pay and I will get the tip" - Hey I have been out of a job for the last 9 months.
"let me buy you a drink" - Another pickup line
" I'm never drinking again" - Not often but enough
"Fu*k, Sh*t, Da*m, etc" - I play a lot of golf.

7 celebrity crushes...
Rachel True - I would love to be her other "Half"

Alicia Keys - Please be my "Boo"

Yvette Wilson - I like a thick girl.

Melissa Desousa - I would be her "Best Man"

Sanna Lathan - I would love to play "Love and Basketball" with her.
Pam Grier - I would put cream in her "Coffy". Danielle Nicolet - I would love her the first our the "Second time Around"

7 people I want to pass this too...

The next seven people who read this.

I got a job
It is a official, I got a job. After 9 months of unemployment. Thank you God. I can now pay back all of those who helped me during this time of need. Also Thank you to all my family and friends.

Rosa Park
The funeral is finally over. It took God a shorter time to create the heaven and earth. This had to be the longest funeral in history.
Last night I was going to see her in state. I figured that if I leave after Nip/Tuck then the line would not be too long. This was so wrong. The line was sooo long. I got there at about midnight and the line was as long as the eye can see. As I drove by I asked a man who was leaving how long did he stay in line and he said 4 and a half hours. That would have meant I would have been there until close to 5am. I'm sorry but I could not do it.