THE LIFE OF A DBM

Interviewing
I have an interview in the morning. As you may or may not know I was laid off from my previous job. I hate to interview because the person on the other side of the desk does not know you or what kind of worker you will become for them or their company. You never know what they want, you answer the question one way and you find out that they are looking for something completely different. I have been in sales and management. I have been finding myself interviewing with people who don't have half the experience I have or can't answer the questions I have for them. Yet I can't seem to get an offer. I'm not trying to be arrogant but I know I can do the job but can't seem to catch a break.

And Dating
This is where dating comes in to play. When you go on a date it is the same thing. You put your best foot forward and hope that it is a match for the both of you. Don't get me wrong I love to date and enjoys someone's company. I'm just tired of women having unreal expectation when it comes to a man. If I hear one more time "I looking for a soulmate" I'm going to scream. This is not the movies. Very rarely do we find "The One" after one date. Twin here has had a lot of "the one right now" but "the one", not in a long time. I'm also tired of the fact that now women want me to be a certain religion or go to a certain church. I thought GOD was everywhere. As long as I respect and worship him it does not matter where I go or the organization my 10% goes to.
Ladies as we all get older our expectations need to grow as we grow as people. You can't wish for the same things you did when you were in your teen or twenties. He may not have a BMW or a Top position in his company. He may drive a Honda and Looking. That does not mean he is not a good man. One thing I have learn from this journey of dating is that, the road is long and it will have turns and twist, so enjoy the ride.

Prayers
To everyone effected by Hurricane Katrina.

Talking Heads
When did Talking Heads (aka. Newscasters) become our parents? I mean who gave them the right to tell us to stay home. The last time I looked I was over the age of 18 and my parents were not on TV everynight. I was looking at CNN reporting on Hurricane Katrina. Anderson Cooper was out in the weather reporting what was going on and then he see two residents of the town having fun. He tell the person at the home office that it is dangerous and that everyone should be at home or seeking shelter. So why is he not at home or seeking shelter? Just report the news and shut up and let our parents tell us to come home when the street lights come on.

MC Hush

One of my boys has a PR Firm and this is his new client Hush. He is tight and I think you will enjoy his flow. I need to give a shoot out to my boy and his wife for working me like a slave at these listening events. I get to meet a lot of cool people get some connections, along with some extra benefits.




The Rules of Paying
I have a rule when it comes to paying for a date. Not a cold hard rule, nothing is set in stone. First and foremost I can't believe that people go Dutch on a date. In the beginning a date is like a job inteview. You have your representative put on your best face. (in case you don't know, you are the representative.) No one has faults, everything is perfect and life is good. My rules of a date are simple.
1. Have a plan !!! I always have a plan A, B, and C.
Plan A is that if a date is going well we go to plan B and if it sucks we go to Plan C. Like SEE you later. I don't ask the female when I pick her up "what do you want to do?" I'm not that anal that things are plan to the minute. In return I expect the same when it come to a women setting the date.
2. Who ever makes the date PAYS. I don't believe that his is out of the ordinary.
I met a female some time ago and we talk and go out on couple of date. So one Sunday I'm chilling at home and she calls me on the phone asking me what I doing and was I hungry. After a brief conversation she said lets go out to eat. She comes pick me up and we spend the next half hour discussing where to go eat. Everyplace I liked she didn't. So after we pick a place we eat have a nice time and the bill comes. She looks at me and I look at her. This standoff last for umpteen minutes. I then tell her that you were the one who asked me out not the other way around so you should pay. I was fine on my couch, chillin! She said that I was the man and the man should always pay. I paid the bill but you can bet that is the last time we went out on a date or anywhere else.
The life of being single and dating.

As you can guess I'm a Divorced Black man from Michigan. I'm a twin born 3 minutes after my brother. My mother says that I was a "surprise" to her and my father. They are both still together and will be married 40 years next month. We grew up in a modest home in a blue collar neighborhood.

Yes this is my old house. This is where I kissed my first girlfriend "April" when I was 5 years old. I was never one of those boys who didn't like girls until I reach puberty. I was always trying to get some girl to kiss me. (somethings never change)

Iwent to a the same school from 1st to 8th grade Precious Blood.

Here is a picture of my 7th grade class with my First Love "MIA" also in my class. I not going to point her out and I have another story about finding her a couple of years ago. ( that is another story) last row 4th from right.
And here is a picture of my Church that I have reconnect to in the last few months.
Yes I'm Catholic. I know I hear it all the time. "I have never met a Black Catholic" Like there are not like a few million of us, and in case you are wondering "I was never molested by any priest".

I'm sitting here on a Saturday night thinking of the good ole days when singer sang and your entertainment dollars went a long way. First and foremost I chillin at home because I got laid-off a few months ago from my job. Money is tight and dating is something that I have put on the backburner until I get a little flow or Ms. Right happens to cross my path. I listening to this CD that bring back memories of when Michael was black and The Jacksons (minus Jermaine) was the hottest ticket you could buy. There was still a debate on whom was better Prince or Michael. You would stand in line all night long to be first in line to get tickets, rain or shine, hot or cold. It was an event for you and your friends to lie to your parents to say that you were staying at each other house. We would go to Cobo Hall or Joe Louis arena and bring sleeping bags, food, drinks and a Boom Box. We would listen to Mojo or pop cassette to whom ever we were getting ticket to go see. It would be a party and of course we would take shifts to see whom would get some heat and sleep in the car. Artist put on a show their was no lip-syncing and weed and those green neon light up things would be in the air.
My first concert that I was able to go with a girl and not my parents was Parliament/Fuckadelic. Her name was Candace Orr, she was 15 or 16 and I was 12 or 13. It was not a date, I'm not saying she was not fine, but she lived across the street and wanted to go. I told her I like the group and she did too. So it was a concert date,but not a date-date. It was one of the best night I had up until that point.
Concert back then were event that you had to attend. The only proof you had that you were there was the next day when you put on the t-shirt with the act on the front. There may have been a fight or two but nobody shot at each other. The group sounded like they did on the album, no hype man or short sets. They had a band with 5 to 15 people playing behind them. You danced in your seat and in the aisle or with the female next to you and sweated the whole night long. The only thing that comes close to that is Frankie Beverly and Maze and once you seen them once you have seen them a thousand time.
Now we go to Jazz concert or slow jams singer like Kem and chill. Very little dancing and no sweating. I miss the good ole days and how life was so simple then.

I was having a conversation with a couple of friends whom happen to be married. The topic of the day was that can men and women just be friend without sex being part of the issue. The background of this topic is that I have a lot of female friends, some I have slept with, but a majority I have not even kissed ( at least not a real kiss, just a grandma type kiss). It was presented that the pressure may not even come from me but from the women. The basis of this statement was that I'm a well educated person, no kids, and have a nice home and very straight. This along with the shortage of black men, sista can't accepted the fact that I just want to be their friend without any strings attached. I express to them that I like having women in my life on all type of levels. I believe that all women are fascinating creatures. However, I love black women and everything about them. I'm probably one of the few men you know whom will admit to subscribing to Essence Magazine.
Again my point of the topic was that friendship has no boundaries male, female,black,white,etc. I know people who have had friends of the opposite sex for decades without and complications. The jealousy of their new mate usually brings an end to the friendship. I know because I have lost a new "friend" or two because she could not handle my abundance of female friends. I also stated that as we get older we want more than just sex, we want a teammate. Someone who will have our back most of the time along with great sex.
There point of the discussion was that men and women cannot be just friends because sex just get in the way. Therefore, until they work it out, it will always be like the elephant in the room. Something everyone sees but don't want to talk about it.
The topic ended as it had started, with no solid answers just more question and "what if". I don't know where you stand on this topic and I bet everyone has their own opinion.

I have been trying to start this blog forever. Me being a man it is sometime hard to put my thoughts into words. My insercurities of not showing any weakness for others to see. I hope my experiences and observations will help others know that they are not alone in this journey called life. I also having trouble starting this blog because it appears that I can't get a picture in my profile so I have been trying for over an hour to post for everyone to see.



A little about me. I have been divorced for about 6 1/2 years, longer than I was married. The reason for my divorce was that mentally I was too young to get married. I went from my parents house to my wife's house. I gave myself no time to learn about myself and what I like and don't like when it comes to spending quality time with yourself. I also did not know how to communicate the things I wanted and didn't want when it came everything and nothing. I have no children and one day I hope to have at least two. I bet you are wondering if I have a twin?